Meet the Vendor: The Cat Ball
Who are you and what do you do?
Right now I know you’re probably thinking, “I wonder what my cat is doing?” This thought may then lead you to fret that your cat may not be content. Perhaps she is cold, or her tail hurts from months of sleeping on a pile of newspapers. Maybe she lost a mouse under the refrigerator. She longs to feel treated like the princess that she truly is. Perhaps she needs a new place to vomit. Concerned that our cats may not be living the life of luxury that they deserve, I decided to take the lead and began to create products to please the hedonistic house cat. You can find us here.
What’s the latest thing you’ve been working on?
Well, I’ve been working on intellectual property stuff, but that topic is a bit nerdy, so let’s talk about cats instead: I know you can’t wait! I’m working on humor, my goal is to subtly ridicule our cats for our amusement – you know, like on YouTube. What can I do for a giggle? What popular culture memes can I work with? Clearly I’m working on some important stuff.
Any new exciting news you’d like to share with our readers?
Besides my successes with intellectual property protection? Yeah, that topic is still nerdy. Well, we have an awesome new model: Cricket. She’s the tiny Siamese who usually looks bitchy. Guess what? She is.
But seriously, we were delighted that our shark Cat Ball got so much attention during Shark Week! Since then customers have been sharing oodles of photos and stories of their cats being eaten by sharks, which continues to amuse us a great deal. Also, only one of my sewing machines has broken this month.
How did you get started in your business?
First, I was unemployed, so I spent time making stuff because resumes are so boring. Second, before becoming unemployed, I had a job. I was a costume designer. I can figure out how to make the stuff that I dream up. I needed to make these giant sphere mascot costumes, so just like you see on Mythbusters, I made a miniature prototype first. That thing sat around my workshop until I had a brainstorm to turn it into a spheroid cat bed, and my orange kittens loved it. Next, my Cat Ball design got some media attention and sold out immediately. Cat owners demanded more. I bought a business license, and the fun began!
Is this a full-time business for you?
Does that mean 80 hours a week? Yes.
Where do you see your business in 3 years?
Well, perhaps Mars is too ambitious, but a Cat Ball in every home may not be! In three years I hope I’m long since moved into a warehouse space, which I will populate with a 7 foot tall cat tree. I will bring my vexed supermodel to work with me every day, where she will develop a relationship with the UPS driver who stops by every day to accept thousands of Cat Balls for worldwide shipment. During our spare time we will be busy developing more product for pets. Ideally this warehouse will be close to a bagel bakery.
Who’s your biggest fan?
Dear Reader, the Cat Ball has many, many fans. We have fans from six continents (cats are simply to impractical for Antarctica). Forever too preoccupied with sleeping and staring at squirrels, our fans rely on their human laborers to express their appreciation.
What’s something you’ve learned through running your business in the past 12 months?
You really do need math after high school.
What do your customers love most about your product(s)?
Again and again, our customers tell us that their cat(s) love the Cat Ball. Apparently some cats rarely leave their cosy little pods. Also, cats do not like to share. They suck at it. We get stories of cats waiting in line to have a turn in the Cat Ball, and cats fighting over the Cat Ball. I’m telling you right now, if you have two cats, buy two Cat Balls, ‘cause if you only get one today, in a week you’ll be sending me a desperate email, pleading me to ease the tabby tensions with a second bed. Oh, and cats look contented, adorable and just dang cute inside the Cat Ball.